Pants 0. Shit 1.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
