He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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