it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
