He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
