Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize