i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize