Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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