she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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