So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
