someone threw a dead crab at me
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
