last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
