Im at strip club and am horny
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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