i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
