North Korea, Best Korea!
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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