My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize