My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
