the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
