I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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