Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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