If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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