I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
