just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
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