that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
