4 words: hood of his car
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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