i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
