Yo dont text me then not text me
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
