The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
