Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
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