She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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