is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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