got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
