she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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