considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
