11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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