no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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