i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
