he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
