Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
