Don't make out with my wife yet
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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