i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize