she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
