just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
