I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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