Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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