Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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