Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
