Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
