i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
