It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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