dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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