Do vagina's smell?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
