her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize