I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
