If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
