don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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