what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Randomize
