I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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