Say something about gay babies.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
