My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
