your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
