as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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