Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize