At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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